The Acolyte-O-Nomicon
or, the Cast page

Our Heroes

Name: The Masked Acolyte

Real Name: Martin

Classification: Superhero

Known Abilities: Flight. Energy blasts of yet-undetermined nature. Sarcasm.

Known Weaknesses: Not very good at keeping secret identity. Mentally unstable.

Description: The Masked Acolyte is perhaps the least well-known superhero around, but this doesn't stop him from dreaming of two-fisted glory. His origins are, as yet, untold. He drives a 1980 Malibu Classic, which he calls "the Acolyte-Mobile." Voted "Most Likely To Be On The News For Crimes Against Humanity" by his graduating class. Odd sense of humor. Not at ALL autobiographical, says the author.

Name: Boxboy

Real Name: Boxboy

Classification: Clueless Person

Known Abilities: Stating the obvious. Watching TV. Being relentlessly normal.

Known Weaknesses: Flammable head. Cheap suit. Easily impressed / persuaded / fooled.

Description: Boxboy is basically an ordinary wage slave, except that his head happens to be a cardboard box with a face drawn on it. It is unknown whether he got this in an accident, or whether he's just got a box for a head, or what. It's kind of freaky, really, and he'd be a disturbing supervillain if he was the least bit malicious.

Name: Zenboy

Real Name: Zenboy

Classification: Monk

Known Abilities: Uttering koans. Meditation. Inner peace.

Known Weaknesses: Does nothing BUT utter koans.

Description: Zenboy is a mysterious guru from parts unknown. He only speaks in Zen-like riddles, but much like R2-D2, he seems to be understood by those around him nonetheless. For some reason, he hangs out with the Masked Acolyte.

Local 401'ers

Name: Metronome

Real Name: Unknown

Classification: Superhero

Known Abilities: Perfect, superhuman sense of timing.

Known Weaknesses: Annoying ticking noise.

Description: Metronome is the chairman of the Associated Superbeings, Heroes, and Vigilantes Union, Local 401 (known affectionately as the "Local 401-er's"). He derives his powers from an enchanted metronome which is embedded in his chest. The oldest member of the 401-er's, he claims his "ticker" is running fine. This usually fails to bring a laugh.

Name: the Shiny Surfer

Real Name: Unknown

Classification: Superhero

Known Abilities: Flight. Shininess. Toes to the nose!

Known Weaknesses: Usually broke. Parties continuously.

Description: The Shiny Surfer was once an ordinary surfer. Then, to save his favorite beach from destruction, he was transformed into the Herald of Snacktacus (the feared cosmic Demander of Snacks). He can travel space and time on his shiny board, but rarely does unless there's a wicked nebular wave ...

Name: Flying Fox

Real Name: Unknown

Classification: Superhero

Known Abilities: Flight. Distraction of males.

Known Weaknesses: None known.

Description: Flying Fox is the sole female member of the 401-er's, but often gets the most attention. She also happens to be a fairly good inventor, and often is the gadgeteer of the group. Sometimes feels inferior for not having innate superpowers, but is often the most competent of the bunch

Name: Fogman

Real Name: Unknown

Classification: Superhero

Known Abilities: Fog power!

Known Weaknesses: Fog power!

Description: Fogman's abilities are a double-edged sword. While often creating thick banks of fog is useful for concealment or escape, he really doesn't have control of these powers, and often fogs up the whole area whenever he gets excited. His 401-Trouble-Alert-Pager is often mysteriously misplaced ...

Name: Invisigoth

Real Name: Unknown

Classification: Superhero

Known Abilities: Invisibility. Moping.

Known Weaknesses: Depression. Sunlight.

Description: Invisigoth discovered at a young age that his nascent abilities of sulking were more than just a mood. He found that he could fade completely from sight if he simply whined or moped hard enough. He became a full-time superhero upon reaching adulthood, but doesn't seem to enjoy it.

Cosmic Beings

Name: All-Seeing Space Viking

Real Name: Unknown

Classification: Cosmic Entity

Known Abilities: Hyperspace travel. Minor levitation. Precognition.

Known Weaknesses: Pomposity. Lack of direction sense.

Description: All-Seeing Space Viking is a floating helmeted alien space entity. The full extent of his abilities are unknown, but apparently they don't involve direction finding. Also, he may not quite be as "all-seeing" as his name implies. Friend of Zenboy.